Heavier Than Chopsticks
by Subservient Dreamer
Summary: Not in his whole life had Yaten carried anything heavier than chopsticks... Short ficlet, YatenxMinako centric. Chapter I: Musings.


So, I've been caught in a bit of a raging, unquenchable Sailor Moon obsession lately. Only a bit. I finally finished the Stars anime arc recently (having read online the differing manga version a long time ago) and became entranced by this pairing, but then I've always been a fan of weird, non-canon pairings that still somehow feel oh-so right. So! I hope my fellow YatenxMinako fans enjoy the short fluff of my very first Sailor Moon fanfiction ever (and my first fanfiction I've written in several years, so I'm rusty!), and maybe I'll write more!

Also, I'm going along with the anime version in which the Starlights are males in their civilian form, and it starts out before the defeat of Galaxia, but after the starlight's find out the senshi's identities and vice versa. Originally, this was going to be a waffy one-shot, but after writing some of it out, it sort of evolved into something more, though the chapters will probably be relatively short.

"_**Heavier than Chopsticks"**_

**Chapter I: Musings**

He had hoped a creature of his delicate sensibilities would have been impervious to the dirty act known as sweating. But alas, Yaten Kou was just like the rest of us. Well that was hardly close to the truth, but to his dismay, he could still sweat with the best of them.

Yaten had found out this bit of information this afternoon while taking a stroll in Shiba Park, a stroll that had eventually turned into a frantic, full-blown sprint. Sighing, Yaten sunk deeper into his scented bathwater, dyed a dark olive green similar to that of his eyes from the bath beads previously poured in. The combination of the overly hot water and fragrant olive-blossom scent calmed his terribly frazzled nerves, and the Starlight slowly raised an arm out of the water to watch several droplets fall from his elegant fingers.

What had he been thinking earlier? Him, willingly exert himself to the point of sticky, sweaty exhaustion? Well, that was exactly the problem. Yaten was thinking entirely too much. Of their past. Of their mission. Kinmoku. Kakyuu. And most of all, though he wouldn't readily admit it, yesterday at the audition; about that infuriating Aino Minako girl…He could only surmise the turbulence of thoughts boiling in his head drove him close to insanity, as Yaten remembered feeling so many emotions tear through his fragile psyche. Though the memory was a bit of a blur, he must have looked so odd to anyone else in the park, but for once, was too drained to give a care.

Yaten knew he shouldn't have been enjoying such indulgence, should have been practicing and practicing to shine harder for their Princess, but words from yesterday rang distantly in his head.

"_We're allowed to dream of something besides our duty as a soldier, right? Have we lost the ability to do so?"_

Soft, she whispered his name.

"_She's close by, but she hasn't appeared. We think we're missing something."_

"_You're not lacking anything! You guys shine, Yaten-kun! You shine more than anyone else."_

Fleetingly, he toyed with what her latter "you" meant. The Three Lights, or…

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, long wisps of unbound cloud-hair disturbing the stillness of the water. What she meant had no relevance. Yaten sighed again, a habit he was recently becoming more accustomed to, and sank deeper into his sanctuary until the water tickled his chin. Hot steam caressed his face almost lovingly, and he briefly wondered what Seiya and Taiki were up to since he hadn't been thrown out of the bathroom yet, then resolved to push all invading thoughts away. Yaten sank into the enveloping solitude and absolute silence save for his even breathing, and the steady "_drip, drip drip_" of water until…

"Yaaaaateeeeen-kuuuuun…"

His eyes snapped open and he sat up in a flash, making a noisy and messy splash on the otherwise spotless bathroom floor. Uneasy eyes surveyed their surroundings until they slid to a close and he slowly lowered himself back into the water. "Imagining things…"

"Yaaaaaten-kun!" The voice called again from just outside the bathroom door, this time sounding impatient. "If you don't let me in, I'm just going to have to let myself in!" His eyes bolted open again, narrowing into tiny cat-like slits.

"M-minako…?" He whispered. _Oh my God…no, stupid Yaten, it's just your imagination. How could she have possibly gotten past Seiya and Taiki? _An image of a crazed, cackling Minako holding tea cups and looming over a pair of snoozing Taiki and Seiya flashed before his eyes and he 'eeped', "Sleeping pills!?" Yaten shuddered, suddenly afraid for his health.

This time he heard a click, then the quiet groan of the door sliding open. Yaten's whole body tensed as time seemed to slow. Pattering of bare feet against the tiled floor. A rustling of clothes and a soft, mischievous laugh. The sounds of footsteps came closer, closer until Yaten had to shut his eyes and pretend he was elsewhere. The water in the tub shifted and roiled as another body settled itself in, so close, he could smell her perfume, too close…

"Open your eyes, Yaten-kun. Don't you want to see?" The coy voice caressed past his ears. _Such powerful temptation, _he thought bewilderingly.

"M-Minako! Get OUT!"

"Open your eyes." She said again, words sounding like sweet music and a command he couldn't refuse all at once. What was this bewitching power? His will was slowly draining away. Gulping, and becoming all-too aware of how hot the bathwater had become, the fuming Starlight's eyes opened with much hesitance, but he just couldn't fight that sweet, honeyed voice. So slowly they opened, to find…

The pale tiles of the wall ahead. Gasping, Yaten blinked rapidly and sprang out of the now-cold water, wet silver strands of hair clinging to his calves and upper thighs. But hadn't the water been hot just a second ago? His head frantically turned from one side to the other, yet no trace of Minako was visible, not even a fallen strand of her golden hair or the clothes he knew he heard her take off. He turned, and even the door was still closed and locked. Frustration bubbled from deep within and exploded in a, had this been an anime, glass-shattering scream of Minako's name. Not moments later Taiki and Seiya bounded down the hall and managed to tear the bathroom door open, shattering the apparently feeble lock in the process. They were met with a red-faced and naked Yaten, chest heaving from breathing so hard, staring back at them with blank eyes.

"Dream. It was just a…dream." Yaten said flatly.

Silence…

Seiya burst out laughing. Taiki merely blinked, shook his head, and walked away, intending to go back to his much-needed rest. "I don't care to know", he mumbled. Bent over in fits of giggles, Seiya thrust a shaking finger Yaten's way as the smaller Starlight regained what little composure he could muster, and strode to his silken robe hanging on the wall by the near-hysterical Seiya.

Between gasps and laughs Seiya managed to sputter out, "So, having a nice dream about Minako-chan, were we? Please, share _all _the details." Yaten clenched his teeth. "Shut up." Was all he gave to Seiya, stalking past the grinning Light to his room and shutting the door behind him with an authoritative, albeit childish, BANG.

Yaten was a little more prone to emotional outbursts when his average of thirteen hours of sleep wasn't achieved, and ever since traveling to earth to fulfill their mission, between practices and TV specials and concerts and wallowing in self-pity because their Princess hadn't shown up, the average amount he was able to catch was somewhere around five hours. Yaten hesitantly made his way to the full-length mirror across from the bed and leisurely slipped off the light-grey robe, letting it slide off his body to land in a silky pool about his feet.

The double glass doors leading to his balcony situated on the eastern side of his room were left open a crack, as Yaten enjoyed the biting chill of Japan's night. The lace curtains fluttered in an occasional breeze, letting in a stream of pearly moonlight that illuminated the pallor of his skin as icy fingers of wind elicited goose bumps here and there. He studied the pale planes of his own body.

Scrutinizing eyes scanned from head to toe disapprovingly. Anxieties had not only manifested their toll on his mind, but body as well. Yaten's usual perfect posture was ruined as his shoulders carried an almost imperceptible hunch, but he still noticed it. He also noted with dismay the small, dark shadows forming under his eyes.

Shaking his head and gathering up the curtain of his silvery hair, he retrieved the discarded robe by his feet and slipped it back on before flopping onto the plush bed behind him. The smallest Light wanted nothing more than a very long, deep sleep, but it didn't seem as if his mind was going to concede to those simple wishes. There was no point in trying to stop the train of his thoughts, so as he huddled himself under a cocoon of thick blankets, he let it run rampant until the time it would come crashing to a screeching halt.

This train of Yaten's seemed to take him to yesterday, giving him the disorienting feeling of being in a different time. Unbidden, a pair of vibrant and probing cerulean eyes flashed against the black of his eyelids. Eyes that somehow, when even Taiki or Seiya were not able to, cut right through all falsities and straight to the core of his soul. Eyes that made him speak things he kept nestled in the dark corners of his mind, too afraid to speak aloud.

Yaten remembered when an incredulous rage filled his chest and tinted his vision, provoking him to grab her dainty wrist (not without feeling her accelerated pulse throbbing beneath the smooth, delicate skin) and push her frame against the wall. He locks his intense gaze with her wavering one. Those pretty eyes widen in shock then as he leans in just inches from her face, breathing in deep the honey-sweet smell of her as it invaded his head like an alien presence, not quite unwelcome.

He tried…he tried looking deep into Aino Minako, tried to find her motivations, the _why _of her, and so much more, but couldn't. Unable to stare into those innocent windows of hypnotizing blue any longer, Yaten stepped away, pounded his fists upon the wall in frustration and berated her then, for choosing dream over duty, not just because he couldn't and never would be able to, but also because Minako was an enchanting creature whose essence he couldn't touch or understand.

But…he desperately wanted to. Wanted to be free of duties, obligations, missions, and heartache…Yaten wanted to spend countless, pointless afternoons with Minako by his side, trees bending and swaying to the nostalgic music the wind made, sounding much like the gentle crashes of the sea.

He wanted her to trust him. To open herself up, so she could be read like the timeless classic she was. Wanted her to turn her face up towards his and dazzle him with a secret, knowing smile meant for him and only him, as the yellow waterfall of her hair danced about both their faces. He wanted…

He wanted her.

Yaten broke through the surface of his fantasies gasping and sputtering, realization hitting his body like air to the lungs of a drowning swimmer. And yet, he didn't feel liberated, free, or giddy, or anything any emotion close to love should have made him feel.

Love.

…Once, Yaten had almost known love. Was so close to knowing it that the remembrance tasted like a bitter dust in his mouth. But those scars were still healing, and even a brief memory of that time threatened to tear them into wide open gashes, threatened to spill their blood far and wide.

No, Yaten only felt worse as against his will, the tides of slumber gently pulled him under; for just like his lost love, Minako and he simply never could be.


End file.
